How to Deal when Others Telling You How to Nurture Your Baby
Yes, you may say it bright and clear as; NO!
Still how many of you out there have the guts to do so? *moreover if this happen to be your closest soul mate or family*
IMHO, as a new parent (especially a young mother), it can be difficult to separate the real and useful advice from the useless or unimportant advice *unless if you decide to be like me; a cold-hearted, bloody-minded soul*.
You are worried that maybe you really don’t know what you’re doing and it is easy for someone else to convince you that you are putting your child in danger or are a terrible parent for doing something differently.
I had listed some of the reason of why on earth you must say NO to “them” and how to deal with “them“:
- Step 1: Motherhood Sixth Sense
The matter of fact is that most parents have very good instincts *In no doubt, I truly believe this, Insya-Allah*. Sure, you might change a diaper differently than your mother-in-law, but your baby isn’t going to end up in the hospital because of it! Trust yourself.
You know what is best for your baby, not other people.
Thus, many parents are prepared to be challenged in their more controversial decisions, such as co-sleeping, bottle or breast feeding, staying home or going back to work, etc.
However, you will be amazed at the little things people will criticize. Walking down the street, someone is bound to let you know that your baby should have socks on. If you put socks on her, someone else will comment on how your poor baby is too hot! Instead, there is no way to win the baby wars and you shouldn’t even try!
Just do what you think is best.
So, what do you say to these self-appointed advisers? That really depends on your personality and who you are talking to. Even me have the same difficulty when responding to my own mother and nearest family.
- Step 2: IGNORE, yes just ignore 😉
On the street, it can be a bit more tricky. Many parents are of the opinion that it is no one else’s business whether their baby wears shoes or not!
You may get rid of these people by turn a deaf ear to, if you have no idea who they are.
Or, if you wish to be polite, just nod and say, “Thank you.” Then continue on your way and do as you wish. *I do this!*
In my early days of being young momma, I do practice this matter; I will just say yes or nod when these people told me to, but then I just do it my way *what the heck, they not a God, so who know what you’re up to, rite?*.
- Step 3: Think POSITIVELY
For certain people, dealing with their friends are probably the most difficult *except for me due to real friend means someone whom really will accept you in what ever life you had bumped into, they will listen and give you support and will never give up on you to take your time to change for good*.
Of course, they mean well, but might not understand that you have different ideas about raising children. If they have their own kids, they might be a bit more sympathetic, but don’t count on it.
With friends, you might have to be firm, but nice. Try something like, “I get that you think that is the best way, but we’ve chosen to go with . . . .”
If that doesn’t work, you might need to be a bit stronger. Remind them that you don’t criticize their parenting decisions (or lack thereof if they aren’t parents yet) and ask for the same respect in return.
- Step 4: Stick into IT!
It can be difficult to deal with people trying to tell you how to raise your children, but you can do it. Stick to what you believe is the right thing for your kids and you will all be happier in the end.
- Step 5: Keep on Praying
Only God know the best answer. We just try our best to do better choices every single day for the sake of our child. Keep on praying, keep on reading, keep on googling!
Pick and vote for the unbeatable! Good luck 😉